The "C" Word

Consumption. It's what drives the American way of life. It is any wonder that, in my first weeks here, I should reflect on being a consumer in Korea?

1.) First, let's talk about alcohol. The beer. Disappointing. It's made from rice, and most Korean beers contain 0% barley. Even the American beer Budweiser is made from only 30% rice. As a result, every Korean beer is a pale-golden lager with a taste that is mediocre at best. Not once have I tasted a beer here and went, "HEY, that's pretty good!" Maybe that day will come. Foreign beers are expensive, as a result of HEAVY taxation on imports.

2.) The wine. It inexplicably tastes like GRAPE JUICE. Which makes me sad. No further comments on that.

3.) There is a silver lining to this alcoholic cloud, however. Soju. It's cheap, and doesn't taste terrible. Like Korean beers, it's made from rice. It contains approximately 25% alcohol, and tastes like weak vodka. People here drink it straight, evidently, but I've been experimenting and discovered that it mixes fairly well with, well, anything with which vodka would mix well. Fanta Pineapple soda is my favorite so far. An approximately 12 oz. bottle of Soju costs between $1 and $3. I don't think any spirit in the US is THAT CHEAP.

4.) Either the Korean labeling system is different from the American system, or half of the food I've been buying here is already expired. I have to guess that the date on the package indicates that the item was PACKAGED on that day, not EXPIRING on that day. Otherwise I've been eating BAD FOOD. You see, there's no Food and Drug Administration in Korea. Although there's probably some sort of equivalent, I simply don't feel the familiar comfort of a Federal regulating body dedicated to protecting consumers. So even IF a store is selling TONS of expired food, I have no idea what kind of repercussions there would be.

5.) Really strange things are expensive, and really strange things are cheap. Allow me to give some examples. (For the convenience of my American readership, all prices are in US dollars.) Anything imported is going to be expensive; that's a given. Especially alcohol. A can or bottle of Guinness (NEVER on draft) at a bar will set you back probably $10, if not more. Even buying a can of it from a corner store will cost at least $5. Pringles costs about $4 a can. Peanut butter and jelly are about $5 each. Cereal, being a Western thing, is expensive, even if it's not imported. Bread and bread goods are CHEAP. A loaf of bread will cost a dollar, max. Similarly low prices for sweet breakfast/desert breads, muffins, etc. Meat is very expensive, with a few exceptions: Squid. Octopus. Fish. All of the above are purchased INTACT, with freaky unblinking eyes staring you down, row after row after row. Absolutely NOTHING I would ever buy at a supermarket.

6.) I have been very impressed with the quality and diversity of the "cup-noodle" style products here. You can get many many flavors, and they are all delicious and cheap! I would only add about half of the spice packet, however. Unless you want your pansy American mouth ON FIRE. Unlike other Asian countries, Koreans use metal chopsticks (I have no idea why), but I've found these very difficult to use with slippery slippery ramen noodles. For the ramen, I "stick" with wood. Get it??

7.) Know how in the US we have laws to prevent corporations from completely DOMINATING their market (although sometimes they do anyway)? Like, anti-trust laws, anti-monopoly laws, that sort of thing? Well I guess they don't have them in South Korea, or they work very differently. A couple words on "Lotte." It's one of the biggest conglomerates here in Korea (and Japan, I've learned). Allow me to list a few of the things under the Lotte umbrella. They are a huge department store chain, like Macy's or JP Penny. They are a huge fast food chain (called Lotteria), kind of like McDonald's. They are the largest chewing gum and beverage distributor in the country, like Wrigley or Pepsi. There's an amusement park, called Lotte World. They own hotels, oil companies, and housing complexes. You can buy Lotte insurance, or other financial services (Lotte Card, Lotte Credit). They own SEVERAL Korean baseball teams. And the really amazing thing is that this company was founded by one guy in 1940's post-war Japan and is still run by his family. Hear that? All of these things are run by a FAMILY. Isn't one family controlling this much of the market, like, illegal or something? NOT IN KOREA.

8.) Finally, not only am I a consumer of goods, but I am a consumer of information. South Korea is one of the Most Wired Countries in the World, and the internet is cheap and ubiquitous here. SO WHY CAN'T I ACCESS HULU, OR ADULTSWIM.COM? Like most people, there are a few T.V. shows I enjoy watching; like many (younger) people, I don't like to watch them on T.V. Instead, I have taken to using a far more convenient medium: the internet, which hosts a greater variety of content that I can watch literally anytime I get the itch. But because of international legal issues, Hulu and Adultswim.com just aren't available in most countries abroad, including South Korea. The internet is all about the free and open sharing of information, right? SO WHY THIS DRACONIAN LEGISLATION? WHAT ARE THEY AFRAID OF, ANYWAY?? God forbid some poor ex-pat should watch his Family Guy reruns.